It has always surprised me to hear my girlfriends talk about how they never really expected to have to work. Not all of them think that, of course, but a surprisingly large number of them thought, at some point, that Prince Charming would sweep them out of their workaday world and plop them into a castle, glass slippers included. Or at least they thought that they’d have choice about staying home to take care of their kids while Daddy brought home the bacon.

Earlier this week I found the 21st Century iteration of that Cinderalla fantasy: Breadwinner wives. You know one, probably — those incredibly talented, driven, capable overachievers who fell in love with someone who will probably never top their earning potential, not to mention their motivation and drive. This fascinating column looks at what happens then, and how to handle the demise of your Cinderella dreams.

So much is at work here — long-held notions of what women are supposed to be laid on top of the I-can-have-it-all lessons of feminism. Tell me more: Are you one of those women who always expected someone would “take care” of her? If it hasn’t turned out that way, how do you feel about it? What do you know now about your expectations that you didn’t know then?