In my column today, I have another look at the trend of couples sleeping separately — sometimes, in separate wings of the house. Maybe it’s progress, especially if your mate is a snoring machine, but it seems profoundly depressing to me.
What do you think? Has sleeping apart actually helped your relationship?
Responses to “Sleeping alone, again.”
April 16th, 2007 at 9:24 am
I read your column and I wanted to comment on it. My husband, I love him to death, is a snoring, sweating, bed hog. We have been married 10 years and have slept apart for almost 6 of them. In the beginning, I would always end up on the couch because of him. He, being the gentleman that he is, insisted, about 6 years ago, that he would sleep in the other room. We do have a child in the house but our “spontaneous moments” happen all the time. We are not lacking in that department. He will “visit” or I will and when “visiting” is done, both of us get a really good night’s sleep. If you are sleeping well, then you are happier. If you are happier, then doesn’t it stand to reason your marriage will be happier? To all of you who are sleeping with a snoring, sweating, bed-hog, male or female, don’t hesitate to try the separate bed or separate room approach. It did wonders for us!
April 15th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Oh dear. You just can’t bring yourself to believe that those of us who sleep in separate beds aren’t all lying about our sex lives, can you?
How shall I put this… those “fleeting moments of spontaneous intimacy” need not be limited to the bedroom. Or to nighttime, for that matter.
It occurs to me that you have a child living in your house and I don’t, which probably explains why we’re having trouble imagining each other’s circumstances. A child at home means “spontaneous sex” is limited to those hours when the bedroom door is firmly shut and the kid is at least theoretically asleep. For us, with all day and the whole house to ourselves, waking a partner out of a sound sleep is less likely to result in passionate lovemaking than in a sleepy and disgruntled, “Why NOW?”