You would think that after the Great Olestra Leakage Debacle of the late ’90s, Americans would shy away from buying supposedly weight-conscious items that threatened to make their digestive and excretory functions unpredictable.
But you’d be wrong!
A hip new weight-loss drug called alli (the ‘i’ is long and the lowercase ‘a’ is, sadly, intentional) is being marketed to women as the first and only FDA-approved over-the-counter weight-loss drug. Alli is actually a lower-strength version of Xenical, a prescription drug that blocks the absorption of fat.
Alli, according to the L.A. Times:
… works in the digestive system by blocking the absorption of about 25 percent of fat that is consumed. In a theoretical 3,000-calorie-a-day diet with about 100 grams of fat, the drug would eliminate about 225 calories.
The initial news reports claim that the drug is flying off the shelves (okay, at least in L.A.), despite its steep cost of $60 for a one-month supply — despite the horrifying side effects “treatment effects,” as GlaxoSmithKline so euphemistically calls them.
Just what horrifying side effects might those be?
Oh, just unpredictable diarrhea and oily gas. And the near certain possibility that you’re going to poop your pants.
If you needed still more proof that this country is completely dysfunctional when it comes to health and beauty, witness this: A pill that will render you unable to control your bowels is being snatched up by people who are desperate for a miraculous and easy way to lose weight. But what’s easy about being chained to your toilet for fear of having an unexpected “treatment effect”?
The ultimate frustrating irony is that the main way to reduce these disgusting “treatment effects” is to cut down on fat and calories in your diet and exercise more, which, for those of you playing at home, is exactly what you do when you want to lose weight. So why even bother with an expensive pill that makes you poop oil?
There’s a hilarious point-by-point take-down of alli here, if you need a little snark to brighten the mood.
Responses to “Letting loose with alli”
June 25th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Yay, ‘Coma! Thanks for visiting! Alli just seems too horrific to be real. I’m hoping it’s a hoax. Please let it be a hoax. (I know it’s not, but, well, sigh.)
Jeff, thanks for the link! I too seethe at the marketing work that went into hawking this pill.
June 23rd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Glad to see you over here, Lindsey.
And alli just sounds like something I don’t want or don’t need.
I will retain my BBW status.