Early one morning this week, I woke up to find a group of men paving the private drive my house sits on. There were probably 6-8 guys out there, but I happen to know that none of my neighbors are home, except a mom with two kids. My paper was probably sitting on my porch - the paper person has great aim - but I was afraid to go outside and get it.
Remember, the Chickasaw Gardens woman who was raped in her house was attacked by relatives of people who had done work at her house. What if one of these paving guys sees me come outside, somehow deduces that I live here alone - or, at least, are home alone here during the day, and comes back another day? Or at night?
I’ve been peeping out of my window, but I don’t want them to see me in here. And I can’t leave, because I live on a cove and they’re paving the whole thing. Plus, if I leave, then they’ll know that the house is empty. I have little in here of any value, but I’d like to keep what little I have.
I’m not freaking out, but there is a sense that I’m a prisoner in my own house.
It shouldn’t be this way. It really shouldn’t. My first thought when I see men working outside my house should not be: Are they going to come back and get me?
Responses to “Shouldn’t be this way…”
July 5th, 2007 at 9:25 am
I know you’re not going to go right along with what I’m saying here, but what I’m writing here is the ONLY way I knew how to keep from becoming a prisoner in my own home.
The other day my best friend and I went on a lengthy shopping trip ALONE. Just the two of us…females (like you) in our 30’s.
I carry a Glock 19. If I’m out, by myself, and without my “SO”, I’m armed. I may not have to use it, GOD KNOWS I don’t WANT TO HAVE to use it, but at least if I have to defend my life or that of my friend, I know it is there, on my person. I’ve had a gun permit since 1999. Judging from some articles I’ve read online and the one I saw featured in the CA about 6 months ago, Shelby county has more permit holders than anywhere else in the state.
I’ve had two close calls in Memphis where men tried to enter the vehicle with me. I’m a small girl, they think I’m easy. I choose not to be a prisoner, and not to be a victim if I can avoid it.
At work, where I cannot carry my weapon, I carry a can of Fox Labs OC. This is the same stuff the cops use, and if you’ve ever gotten it in your eyes, you know how unpleasant it is. No, it doesn’t kill people, but most people won’t want much more if you get them in the face with this stuff.
Stay safe Wendi. I’d be more than willing to take you out shooting with the girls the next time we go. I find women “bond” better and are less intimidated when they are with others like themselves and are not distracted by guys acting all “macho” about shooting. For them, it may be “macho” but for me, it’s about survival.
July 9th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
You’re right, Wendi. You shouldn’t be this way. It’s a little sad and alarming, frankly. Why is that the workers should do you harm? And what’s to stop the paranoia? Really. You could just as easily argue that somebody could follow you home from the grocery store and kill you. Or, that a disgruntled co-worker could come to your workplace and kill you. Or, the commenter above could accidentally shoot and kill you. Or, you could simply drop dead from sheer anxiety.
July 4th, 2007 at 10:33 am
I live in North Memphis & get nervous when I see unfamiliar faces walk past the house or stop for too long at the stop sign on my corner. I have no qualms about looking someone in the eyes before promptly walking back into the house & I cannot concern myself with the possibility that they may be offended by my fear of them as I have to think of my own safety. But often, as I enter my home & lock the door behind me, I do wonder why it is this way…why I must fear the unknown instead of waving at it with a smile and “hello”. I don’t know that I can afford to have that level of trust & I hate that…I really do. The only time I leave my home is in my car…I never walk down the street or down the block…and I also feel like a prisoner in my home.
So…how does a single woman go about hiring someone for home maintenance/repairs without the additional worry of rape/robbery afterward? I have an older home that needs work that I am not physically (or skillfully) capable of but I am terrified by the idea of hiring someone & trusting them to do quality work & not put me in any type of danger by bringing along someone with less-than-honorable intentions.