I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read….

Allie, you make Wendi’s point for her.

All she’s asking is that white people acknowledge that they can’t possibly know what it’s like to be black, and to have to endure not just the isolated occurrences of prejudice that most people tend to experience in varied settings, but to have to endure the institutionalized racism that this country has thrived on since its inception.

It’s not that hard a thing to do, really. Just back down the defenses and say, “Yeah, okay. I can’t possibly get it. So I will listen and I will accept that I don’t know everything about what it’s like to be you and you and you.”

Wendi never said “black people’s perspective[s] [are] automatically the right one[s].” She just said that black people know what it’s like to be black, and get tired of having white people assume that they do too and that, shucks, it’s not all that bad.

Wendi, kudos for these columns.

Here’s what it costs me: It costs me appearing very patronizing and somewhat stupid. You can find out what you ought to know (and isn’t none of your business) by engaging in normal conversations with people. “What is your life like?” sounds like an anthropological survey, especially if it’s “at least”, which implies that no other conversation has taken place.

To ask another question – What does it cost a person to assert that “most white people are racist?” It costs them risking shutting down a potentially beneficial conversation with a self-respecting white person. Ibedanged if I’d pursue that conversation. Life’s too short.

To continue that example, who has the better perspective on why I didn’t get into college, me, or the person reviewing my application? Obviously the person reviewing the application is the one who knows the truth; I can only guess about why I didn’t get in.

There’s no “reality” involved here. There’s only perception. I think the perception is important, and I think all people should make a profound effort to understand what life looks like from the perspective of others. But perception isn’t reality. Reality may be very different. In my hypothetical above, the person reviewing my application may not even know my race (when I applied to college, it was against the rules to append a photo to the application just for this reason). Maybe my grades were good enough, but someone else’s were better. Or maybe the reviewer was discriminating purposefully. Or maybe the reviewer was discriminating without even being aware of it, because he has a racial bias he isn’t even aware of, and “Lakisha Williams” sounds less competent to his ears than “Alison Harrison.” The point is, whatever the case may be, I’m the last person in the world who has any way of knowing!

That’s why Wendi’s argument, which is that black people’s perspective is automatically the right one, is so weak. A better argument would be: This happened to me. Also this happened. And this happened to my friend. She made a very strong case with the story about the birthday party. I don’t think most white people would have imagined such a horrible thing happening to an innocent child, so casually.

We can’t – and shouldn’t – accept each other’s “realities.” But we can and should listen to each other’s stories.

Maybe it was the Goverment Laws, or the fact white men work more then they SHOP. USA today had an article that “diversity” don’t do a thing for the bootom line. Hmm maybe Montel didnt say it so its NOT true.