Comments on: Phone conversation, circa 2008.

By: Allie

Allie — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:40:16 +0000

The thing about etiquette is you don’t have to guess who’s right – because that’s the whole reason it exists, so that there’s a right way commonly agreed on, just like there’s a right way to spell words in the dictionary. This isn’t me versus you, or your parents versus my parents, it’s simply that the form of address you were taught is not correct for a private residence. You can look it up, really! The only time “Kleinmann residence,” would be correct is if you were a butler!

By: memgal

memgal — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:21:01 +0000

When I read this in the paper I laughed out loud because my son uses a completely different voice to answer the phone. We’ll be talking and laughing and the phone will ring and he’ll jump to answer it, and it sounds like he should be on anti-depression meds: “Hullo.”

Then he proceeds to talk in monotone at a register at least two steps lower than his normal talking voice. It cracks me up. I’ve talked to him about it, but it’s like some reflex with him.

By: The Diva

The Diva — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:28:06 +0000

Well, actually, my kid is young enough to use the phone only with supervision, but I’ve gotten a couple of outraged e-mails that question the wisdom of answering the phone with my name. To clarify: The greeting my parents taught me is, well, as old as I am, and no, I wouldn’t teach my kid to do the same. Though when it comes to answering my cell phone, if it’s someone I don’t know, I usually do say my name, just because I think it makes the conversation easier. In fact, even when I’m calling a friend, I usually tell them who I am, just to give them a minute to tune in to me and our conversation. I’ve taken plenty of calls in the middle of a busy day that caught me off guard, and I didn’t much like the feeling.

Thanks, though, for the comments!

By: Allie

Allie — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 07:09:36 +0000

It’s okay. Back in the day, your parents didn’t know what they were doing anyway.

The way of answering the phone you were taught is correct for businesses, not for private residences. You are under no obligation to arm possible strangers with your name – in fact the correct way of answering a telephone at a private residence is: “Hello?”

When making a private call, the caller identifies first and asks to speak to a particular individual: “This is Greg Jenkins, may I speak to Mrs. Kleinmann?” Then, if you know the caller, you can say you’re Leanne, and you’ll get her. If you don’t know the caller, and they didn’t ask to speak to someone, you say, “Who are you calling for?” (Or if your parents are grammar sticklers, ‘For whom are you calling?’) If the caller asks for someone other than you but fails to self-identify, you say, “Whom shall I say is calling?” And in no case do you give an explanation for why anyone can’t come to the phone – just “I’m sorry, she can’t come to the phone right now.”

There, now that the outdated etiquette lesson is out of the way – on to more modern etiquette: You let your kid text during dinner? Really?