I saw the strangest thing the other morning.
I was driving on Walnut Grove Road, east of Germantown Parkway. In the mirror, I saw an SUV with what I thought was their dog hanging its head out the back window. As the truck got closer, I realized it wasn’t a dog at all; it was their PRESCHOOL CHILD. A 3- or 4-year-old boy, standing up in the back seat, hanging out the window up to his chest.
I let the truck pull up next to me and I see that the mom is just chatting away on her cell phone. So I honk at her, and start pointing to her son. Then she ends up behind me in line at Starbucks! And she acts all put out that I honked at her! And she says, “Is there a reason you were honking at me?” And I said, “Well I wasn’t sure you realized THAT YOUR CHILD WAS HANGING OUT THE WINDOW WHILE YOU WERE DRIVING.” She was all, “Well I didn’t know why you were honking.” And I couldn’t help myself. I said, “Doesn’t he ride in a carseat?” And she said, “Yeah, I already told him about 10 times to get his head in the window.”
Now look, I try not to be judgemental of other mothers. I have a friend who has a special-needs child who doesn’t appear special-needs to the casual observer. So people are always judging my friend by her daughter’s behavior. They don’t understand just by looking at her that there’s a problem.
But is there EVER an excuse for allowing your child to ride with his head out the window? Or even outside of a carseat? I know I’m a bit of a seatbelt nazi (I would never have ridden in a car with my child out of buckles unless perhaps he was not breathing AND gushing blood and I needed to perform CPR on him enroute to the emergency room), but I just can’t think of one simple reason why a parent would allow such a thing.
Did I overreact? What would you have done? (Other than, you know…outing them on the internet.)
Responses to “Getting involved vs. MYOB”
May 26th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I would’ve called the police’s non-emergency line. Actually, I have. Many times. The reason our country has such a high rate of childhood accidental deaths? Is because of parents like that.
May 27th, 2008 at 5:48 am
What good is a carseat if the belts aren’t latched??? As a mom with three carseats in my car, there is NO freakin way a kid can even get near the window if his carseat belts are latched. Should call in her license tag to the cops; and or child services.
May 27th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Yep, call the police non-emergency number on your cellphone and give them the lady’s license plate number and location.
Look, this isn’t an issue of your personal opinion on parenting versus this other woman’s personal opinion; it’s THE LAW that a child that young must be in a car seat. Paying a ticket and maybe having to talk to child protective services might sharpen her up a bit.
I have a problem with the phrase “seatbelt Nazi” too. It’s one thing to insist that adults have the right to risk their own lives, but a completely different matter when adults risk the lives of children. The rule should be that the car doesn’t move until the belts are on and if they come off for some reason the car stops until they’re back on.
When I was seven years old, I was in an accident with my grandmother which sharply brought home to me the need for seatbelts. We were stopped at a stoplight, minding our own business, when a fast-moving car plowed into the back of someone two cars behind us and threw their car into the back of our car. Our big old-fashioned 70′s car was totalled. The man in the car behind ours had to be taken to the hospital because his head went through the windshield – he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. But my grandmother and I were wearing seatbelts, and we were fine, not a scratch on us.
May 27th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I have a special-needs kid who used to be a “seatbelt nazi” himself 
Everyday in Israel I see parents driving their kids to school/preschool God knows how – riding shotgun jumping up and down, on their heads in the back – you name it. I think it’s a crime! I ask my Kid to buckle up even if it’s a 100 meter drive! So your reaction is completely justified.
(on another topic – my kid is totally “normal” looking too so I know what your friend has to go through everytime someone looks at them funny…)
May 27th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
No Ma’am you did not over react. Good for you for honking and making her aware since she was not paying attention. I would have done the same thing. That is scary to think what might have happened to this child.
May 28th, 2008 at 2:52 am
Thank you for having the courage to say something! So often we just turn the other way. Unfortunately she’s more upset with you for honking at her than with herself for putting her child’s life in danger.
May 28th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Once I was in the drive-thru lane beside a woman with 6 preschoolers and no carseats, probably unlicensed daycare. I convinced myself that calling the police would cost the woman her livelihood and force parents to miss work or lose a job. I regret not calling because the level of childcare was obviously substandard, illegal, and dangerous. I am learning that when I argue with myself about an action, I am trying to talk myself out of doing what I know is the right thing.
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:16 am
I agree with you completely. I think more of us should speak up when we see such obviously dangerous behavior. BTW, besides being a “seatbelt Nazi” another pet peeve – children who are obviously too young riding in the front seat.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Not a seatbely Nazi at all. And fyi- whenever I call anyone a nazi on my blog I get 100 hate emails. Last time I called someone a weight nazi…
Stephanie