If you watch the news, then you know that the following is imminent:
- Eating tomatoes will kill you.
- Global warming will kill us all.
- If Iran doesn’t do it first.
- If you live in the Midwest, you’re going to be washed away.
- If you live in California, you’re going to be burnt up in wildfires.
- If you live in New England, your heating bill this winter will send you into bankruptcy.
- You’re going to lose your job.
- You’re going to lose your house.
- You’re going to lose your health insurance.
- You’re not going to be able to afford food.
- You’ll have to eat poisoned tomatoes.
- The terrorists can’t be stopped.
- Obama is too inexperienced to run the country.
- And he can’t save us from the terrorists.
- McCain is too old to run the country.
- And he can’t stop the war.
- Paul Newman has cancer.
- The athletes are on steroids.
- Memphis is one giant crime-infested slum.
- Led by corrupt city and county officials.
- With failing schools.
- And a losing NBA team.
- And YOU’RE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE!!!
Did that cover everything? No? There’s more? Of course. There’s always more. Because the news makes a business of scaring us to death. The more frightened we are, the more we’ll tune in. So we’ll know what we need to be frightened about. Up go the ratings, up go our insecurities.
But I don’t need the news to tell me what to be afraid of. I have plenty of my own worries.
- I worry about my kid riding with teenage drivers.
- I worry about drugs, and smoking, and drinking, and unprotected sex.
- I worry about crazy drunk drivers hitting us on the streets of Memphis where no one really knows how to drive all that well sober.
- I worry about fraternity hazing, and my son’s only a sophomore in high school (I like to plan ahead).
- I worry about my aging in-laws.
- I worry if our retirement account is growing fast enough.
- I worry that I waited too late in life to start exercising.
What worries you?
Responses to “What, ME? WORRY??”
June 19th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I worry that my teenage son’s good sense (haven’t given me a moment of trouble in the entire 19 years of his life)will somehow leave him when I cut the apron strings (no I haven’t cut them yet and he will be 20 in October!).
I worry that also being the mother of a 6 year old (yep…do the math)that I will be mistaken for his grandmother when he graduates from high school.
That concern leads me to worry that I also waited too late to get my 48 year old butt in shape so that I can LIVE to see him graduate and be in good health. I’ve joined a health club, have a trainer and is watching what I eat. Everyone’s prayers are needed for this….trust me!!!!
I also worry that he will not get the education that he deserves in the Memphis City Schools system. I am determined to find the money to enroll him in private/christian school.
I worry that by the time my 6 year old is a teenager if my nerves/brain/health will be able to withstand it.
June 11th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
I already can’t afford insurance or food… but I’ve still got half a tank in my car!
I’m not even going to touch politics on this blog, sorry. But I will say that I’ve had salmonella once and you DO NOT WANT IT. Trust me on this one, you would rather skip the tomatoes. I truly and honestly thought I was going to die, even with medical care. It makes you feel that bad.
I worry that I’ll have some minor medical emergency and bankrupt my entire family - or die. I was carrying catastrophic-only but they keep raising the premiums and I’m not able to keep up the payments, which were more than my house payment and electric bill combined. Try getting new insurance as someone with lupus, I dare you.