So far my beach vacation hasn’t really panned out the way that I’d hoped. I’ve had worse though. And it wasn’t the time I broke a molar in the car ON THE WAY TO FLORIDA that one year. Or the trip to Atlanta where we got caught in a torrential rainstorm complete with hail and tornadoes in the middle of the night somewhere in Northern Alabama. Or the seven-day cruise where Big Daddy didn’t quite understand the concept of the aerosol sun screen and got second-degree sunburn BEFORE THE SHIP EVER LEFT FT. LAUDERDALE.
No, the very worst vacation was that one year in Destin. My family totally knows what I’m talking about. The first day at the beach, I had a little too much rum punch and forgot to re-apply to either myself or Elijah. We were both sunburned so horribly that our faces were swollen up like The Beast from that Linda Hamilton TV series in the 80s. Then it rained all day the second and third days. The fourth day we gave up and went home. There was not one redeeming thing about that vacation.
This vacation hasn’t been that bad. This year’s vacation by the numbers:
- Number of days in Florida so far: 3
- Number of days in Florida sun: 1
- Number of days in Florida rain: 2
- Number of shopping trips to the outlet mall: 1
- Number of jackets bought at the Brooks Bros outlet store for less than $300: 3
- Number of iDiva readers I’ve run into: 1 (Shout out to Lisa, yo!)
- Number of ways Hilton has screwed us: still counting
- Number of times we’ve changed hotel rooms: 1
- Number of changes still to come: 1
- Number of Hilton Honors points we cashed in to have them put us in their suckiest room overlooking the parking lot: 175,000
- Number of movies we’ve watched in the hotel rooms: 4
- Number of conversations the teenage boys have had that are about a) girls or b) wheels: all of them
- Number of girls’ phone numbers one boy has collected: 5
- Number of last names that aren’t “Red Bikini” or “Hot Blonde”: 0
- Number of blistered sunburned noses: 1
- Number of times I’ve gone running: 1
- Number of stickers stuck to the windshield of the new Navigator for parking in the wrong spot: 1
- Number of waffles eaten: 3
- Number of raw oysters consumed by our party: 8 dozen
- Number of naps taken: 2
- Number of days left for vacation to make up with me: 6
What’s your most tragic vacation story?
Responses to “Vacation by the Numbers”
July 6th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Thanks for the shout out Kalisa! Fortunately my family and I had a pretty decent time at the beach this year. No major burns or catastrophes to report. The worst part was leaving on the 4th of July : (
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:50 am
I have 2. On our first vacation without the baby, I spent all day in the Florida sun on a boat, fell asleep, and my lovely husband did not wake me for 4 hours - and by that time, my sunburn was horrendous. We went home the next day, and my 2 year old ran up to me to give me a hug, and instead hurt me so bad that I cried! He was afraid to touch me for 2 weeks after that! Then 2 years ago while pregnant with my 2nd child, we went to Dallas. In July. My brilliant husband decided that he wanted to get some pictures of me and my oldest on a paddle boat. In Dallas. In July. While pregnant. He argued with me until I agreed to get him to be quiet. My child screamed the entire time and did not help me paddle at all, and I was stuck in the middle of a lake 7 months pregnant!