As far as kids playing with toy guns, our rule was that you could never, ever point any gun at any person or pet – (we were allowed to aim our toy guns at squirrels – I might have to rethink that one). If all the adults are consistent about this, it really works, and reduces the likelihood that a real gun picked up by a child would be aimed at anyone. I still correct kids who aim toy guns at me. I don’t care if the parents don’t like it – it’s rude, if nothing else.

So, how would you feel if when he turned 18, your son wanted to join the Army? Or if when he entered college he wanted to join ROTC?

I think a big part of the reason parents are so confused about toy guns is that parents are confused about real guns. My father was an officer, my husband was an Airborne Ranger, one sister is currently serving as a Colonel and another is a retired staff sergeant, and it seems to me that it only makes sense for young people in my family to want to play Army. What sort of sense are children supposed to make of the media constantly talking about how soldiers are “heroes” and then shaming them for pretending to be soldiers?

It seems pretty obvious to me that Tomas is not likely to grow up to rob convenience stores or participate in drive-by shootings. If his father and older brother and cousins were all in jail for various gun-related crimes, and he wanted a toy gun to play “gangsta” then things would be very different. It sounds to me as if he hasn’t even gotten as far as pretending, though – it’s most likely he wants to shoot nerf guns for the same reasons he might want to play dodgeball – because it’s fun to run around and compete with friends.

Regarding the Airsoft guns. I find Airsoft pellets at the park all the time, which means kids must be using them there, although I’ve never seen it. I don’t think I would let a child have an Airsoft gun unless he was mature enough to understand that some people might mistake it for a real gun, and act appropriately. That means no running around with it in the front yard, or the park, or other places where other people are around, and no waving it out car windows or taking it to school, and if the police tell you to drop the gun, you comply instantly. If a bunch of 14-year-olds at a birthday party want to run around in the woods in camo gear out in the country and have Airsoft battles, there’s nothing wrong with that.